EST. 2016
2025 Preseason Rankings
Brought to you by Reynolds Lawn Care
12
SAC FLY'S
Jared
You know things are bad when the manager ranks himself the worst in the league! J-Rod’s first franchise tag ever, NYY Gerrit Cole, is already off Sac Flys & finds himself in free agency before the season even starts! We heard the excuse last year that he didn’t draft his team… now what?! How will Jared navigate the season? Does he trade anything of value right now and try to maximize dollars coming back for next year? Or does he hit the waiver wire aggressively and hopes he strikes gold?
11
JUNG KINGS
Dane
Haters gonna hate! Despite finishing 4th last season, Dane finds himself ranked 11th this pre-season, just like last pre-season. In the offseason, Dane trimmed a lot of fat to allow himself the third most money entering the 2025 auction. With that money, Dane acquired Yordan Alvarez ($64), Trea Turner ($29) & Kevin Gausman ($16) to add to his core players such as Jarren Duran ($10) & Jacob DeGrom (franchise tagged - $23). It’s interesting to see a well balanced team this low on the rankings. Dane will look to prove everyone wrong, again, this season.
10
CLASE CLOSED
Jeremy
As illustrated, things haven’t been going well for Sexy Lav since 2020. Things aren’t looking up for Lav either, as young stud Jared Jones is racking up the doctor appointments and getting a second opinion on his elbow. Will Lav follow the same path he’s been on or will 2025 and onward be different for the sexiest TEA manager?
9
THE TOMMY BOYZ
Brock
The Tommy Boyz are alive & well… here they come! Representing The Tommy Boyz is Sandy Alcantara & Shane McClanahan, who Mr. Reynolds acquired and sat on for quite some time. Unfortunately Shane Bieber didn’t make the cut this year. Will Brock finally show up and prove he can play with the big boys or will it be another donation season? I think we know which one it will be, hence the ranking.
8
THE AUCTION UNDERSPENDERS
Jesse
Different year same Jesse - Jesse left a whopping $42 on the table in 2025 after leaving $33 on the table in 2024. If this is how Jesse operates, recent history shows us this year isn’t going to be pretty for Mr. Buds N Blue Jays! Will his lack of spending (whoops) in the draft come back to haunt him or will he finally find his feet?
7
DESIGNATED SHITTERS
Josh
Arny needs to Stott… whoops stop and think about upgrading his team in other ways to improve his overall chances this season, will Arn Sharn’s high end pitchers carry the day for the Designated Shit shows?
6
GOATANI BOHMS
Brandon
One of the most aggressive managers so far in 2025, this little piggy looks to bounce back into competitiveness after a retooling year in 2024. At the time of writing, Brandon has already spent $24 in the pre-season alone. Will the young players like Crews & Dominguez perform or will Brandon be spending more money to acquire more proven talent?
5
WAMCO
Steven
One of the most elite pitching staffs ever established comes at a cost - no batters! Mr. Sedore has already been busy this pre-season to balance things out, when he struck a deal with Quinnster and sent Glasnow packing! Some teams are desperate for SP? Steve is your man! Will 2025 be the year Steve finally wins a title?!
4
WILD THINGS
Ryan
Rising from the dead, Ryan is looking to make some noise in 2025. Ryan had the most money ($235) entering the 2025 auction and he didn’t leave a dime on the table. Ryan made Aaron Judge the most expensive player in TEA history, $70, for all of 1 minute. Two picks later, Ryan then made Jose Ramirez the most expensive player in TEA history, at a price tag of $75!!!! Ryan’s bats can compete with anyone in TEA. With that being said, is the pitching good enough?
3
GHETTER' INDIA
Tanner
This team is probably the deepest & most exciting crop of young talent we’ve seen in a long time here in cosa La TEA. Gunnar, Witt and Carroll have all popped and with Caminero, Baz and Rocker also potentially being breakout candidates for the season, this could cement Tan atop TEA for the foreseeable future with already having some established arms.
2
KIRBY'S DREAMLAND
Morgan
The defending champs, Kirby’s Dreamland, is quickly becoming Kirby’s Recovery Centre. Early injuries to SP George Kirby and SP Grayson Rodriguez have moved Moe down the rankings in some people’s eyes. He’s here to prove everyone wrong again!
1
MOUSTACHE STRIDER
Quinn
Ranked #1 in the 2025 pre-season ranking, Quinn is back on top after losing in the finals to Kirby’s Dreamland. Quinn had a nice keeper core and has been active in the pre-season acquiring Glasnow, Burger, & $23. Will Quinn unleash this cash or can other managers buy Quinn out of contention?